The Act of Settling and Why You Shouldn’t Do It


Okay, this is the third “official” post on this blog (bring on the fanfare!), and the third post about guys/relationships/etc. Aha, I clearly need to lighten up.

But until then, I’ll stick with the people I’m dealing with at the moment. Okay, here we go.

I’d like to say that I have decent taste in men…scratch that. I know that I have decent taste in men. While we’re talking about taste, I’ll just throw out just a few basic things I’m looking for:

  • Chivalry/Respect
  • Honesty
  • Humor
  • Patience (if you haven’t noticed yet, I’m a handful), and
  • Intelligence

Perhaps in a future post I’ll go further and into more detail (maybe my soulmate is on WordPress!), but for the moment we’ll just stick with those.

Anywho, I’m pretty sure that just about any person at this point would say, “Oh hey, Rie…that’s pretty nice, you shouldn’t have any problems with guys if those are your standards.”

Not true.

Here’s my issue. I tend to…settle. Now before we really go into this, I’d like to note that there are a few categories of girls that this post doesn’t apply to (at the moment). We have a few different categories to address here:

  1. Girls in relationships and happy
  2. Girls in relationships and not happy
  3. Girls who insist that they don’t want a relationship, but really do (these are tricky)
  4. Girls that are casually dating
  5. Girls who actually don’t want a relationship

Okay. Now these categories definitely have subcategories, but for the sake of time (it’s 3:07am) and my eyes we won’t get into that. Moving on.

This post is for the girls in groups 2 and 4. Some are in group 3 but because of subcategories it’s tricky. So group 3 ladies should read, too. For the record, I’m in group 4.

Now. Settling.

Settling is a dangerous word, ladies. It’s basically the stamp that says, “Okay, you threw all of your morals and standards out of the window for someone you don’t deserve.” Kinda harsh when you think about it, but the reality is…the moment that you finally decide to settle is the moment that you tell yourself that you’re not worth anything better than what you settled for. At all.

You’re selling yourself short.

Why knowingly stay for something pointless and useless when there’s better out there (and as I type this I’m asking myself the exact same question. I promise you I know what I’m talking about)?

  • It’s too hard to go out and actually look for a decent guy.
  • I don’t want to be rejected by said decent guy.
  • I like attention and I’m getting attention right now….somewhat.
  • I just want someone.
These, my friends, are excuses. Um, duh, it’s f**king difficult to find a decent guy. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be blogging about this nonsense. Yes, rejection sucks, but honestly…the very worst he can say is “no.” And we’re all adults here, we’re not toddlers. Attention really isn’t necessary for us to exist.

And that last excuse? Does that really need any retaliation?

This is so funny, because I sit here well after midnight and as I’m typing my mind is wandering off, and I’m browsing other blogs, and I come across a post that brutally addresses my situation and the content of this post. Karmic Diva‘s “A Cockroach or A Prince?” tends to set the standards for almost everything I’m not dealing with. Thanks KD, for telling me that I McF**ked up.

And for the record, I’m not talking about Mr. Socially Inexperienced. I’m talking about someone else. Mr. SI is a beautiful person and we love him.

Love is a beautiful thing until it becomes damaging to one or both parties. When you settle, you lose the beauty of something that’s supposed to be pure and genuine.

Now I figure that a few people out there are reading this and are like, “This chick has no idea what’s she’s talking about,” “Settle? I don’t settle,” or “This is just utter nonsense.” So we’re just gonna take a little stroll through my life and we’ll see the epitome of settling.

And hopefully in the midst of this “stroll” I can blog some common sense into my thought processing and reevaluate my life and my choices.

So we’ll start with Case Study: The A**hole.

Which category of girls do you fall into?

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~ by musingsofaboredteenager on July 6, 2012.

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