Case Study: The A**hole


I’d like to note before we begin that I’m feeling pretty strongly about this subject so while I’m sane and somewhat happy I’d like to give myself a disclaimer over this post for any foul language that may ensue.

Now, let’s get into this.

I would tell you where I met this guy, but I will admit that I’m too prideful to willingly say it and allow my readers to call me stupid…haha, I wouldn’t want to give you the satisfaction. However, I will say that the circumstances in which I met him did not at all make any relationship (even a friendship) with him promising and that even giving him my number was my first mistake. Moving on.

One thing about this guy that I do not at all usually go for is that he is…extremely rough around the edges. Like, really rough. To be completely honest, he’s pretty much the opposite of my dream guy. Now we aren’t talking about the list of things I’m looking for in a guy that I came up with. I’m referring to the way he carries himself in general.

When we had first started talking, I would say that things were pretty decent. He worked all day but he still texted me, which I appreciated, and we would talk to each other at night when he’d get off work. No big deal. I had learned a few things about him that had concerned me:

  • He’s a drinker. And I’m not talking about a casual drinker either. I mean calling-me-at-3am-and-wanting-to-smush-drinker.
  • He’s a high school graduate…and that’s it. Now if you can’t or don’t want to go to college that’s fine. But you need to have a backup plan, in my opinion. He doesn’t have one.
  • He’s a pot smoker. Once again, not judging. But we need moderation here, okay? And it’s illegal (in the state of North/South Carolina) anyway so…

These were all red flags to me, but I ignored them simply because I talked myself into believing that we were not going anywhere and if we’re friends that’s fine. Second mistake.

We talked for a week or so and we had gotten to the point where we were exchanging pictures. Not even a week after the exchanging comes along he asked for nudes.

Okay. Let’s talk about nudes.

Most people probably already know this, but for the record: if you’re just meeting a guy and you’re talking and he asks for nudes…he’s not interested in your personality, Doll. He’s trying to get his ranch into your Hidden Valley. Done.

This is were I should have dropped all ties. Adios, Sayonara, Arrivederci…you get the point. But instead I sugarcoated the issue and told him no. He then got pissed, told me that he wasn’t sure he wanted to talk to me anymore, and ended the phone call.

So, we went from the sweet talking and the texting and the attention…to this nude issue.

I realized at that point that I really liked the guy…have we named him yet? We’ll call him Alex for your sake and mine.

I ended up shedding some tears that night (not too many, but enough to get the point across) and decided that I was officially through with boys and that I’m over it. Haha, a week later I met Mr. I’m-so-socially-inexperienced, etc., etc. Things went great with him for about a month and literally out of the blue, this Alex character texted me on a Saturday morning.

My thoughts: What the actual f**k.

His story: he beat up a guy at work and went to jail for five weeks and he finally got out. So as utterly shocked as I was, I had met Mr. Socially Inexperienced (this is his name from now on, lol), and things were going so incredibly well with him that I was literally foreseeing a relationship. For this reason, I told Alex that I was seeing another guy and that we could be unlikely friends.

His response? He didn’t expect that and he was really hurt.

Hold up. Um. Excuse me, Sir, you gave me the boot here. You told me to go. You said that you weren’t interested anymore, so when I do leave you’re hurt? I cried over you, for crying out loud.

However, at the time all I could really say was that I was sorry, because I did feel bad.  And he didn’t text me anymore after that.

Fast forward about a week and a half.

Mr. Socially Inexperienced was being ridiculous and was no longer showing effort, and Alex calls.

Go figure.

Wasn’t his timing just peachy.

So we talked. And I felt like…he was different. He was…nicer. He wasn’t as “rough” as he was before (part of me wants to believe that jail did that to him, but whatever, I’ll take what I can get). Third mistake.

So the “Baby’s” started again.

And I got that special “I’m wanted” feeling again.

He told me he missed me.

Things were nice. But I was still just…unsure.

So, fast forward another week, up to a couple of nights ago. I’m trying to make this story as short and to-the-point as possible, if you haven’t noticed. 🙂

We were talking on the phone, no big deal. And just like I expected…he asked for nudes again.

How the F**K did I see that coming?

I told him no, but he still pushed the issue. When he realized that I wasn’t budging, he resorted to, “Okay, well call me back when you send it, I love you, bye.” He hung up.

I was pissed, needless to say.

But I was more upset with myself than anyone, because I let it happen again. I had walked right into it.

And at that point you would think that I learned my lesson, but I hadn’t.

The other day I had missed a call from him. So I, the hopeless romantic, hoping that by some odd chance he’d change, called him back.

I’m shaking my head as I write this. Because I know I was wrong. Fourth mistake.

He asked me why I didn’t send him anything the other night, and when I told him that I didn’t want to, he literally put down his phone and conversed with his friends. So I put the phone down, curious to see what would happen.

An hour and 29 minutes later, he simply hung up.

I can’t even begin to describe my feelings right now as I chronicle this ridiculousness. It’s ludicrous.

So I settle because of feelings. And desperation. I don’t need to subject myself to this bulls**t.

So here you have it, the epitome of settling. And now, after I post this, I’m returning his call from earlier today. And so the hopeless romantic is still pursing the A**hole. I guess this blog is both for you, and me.

Aha, someone please tell me that I’m not the only one who has been in this situation.

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~ by musingsofaboredteenager on July 7, 2012.

2 Responses to “Case Study: The A**hole”

  1. I went through something similar with a guy my first semester of college. I ignored my instincts and gave him a second chance even though he did not deserve it, because he made me feel wanted. But in the end he was just a charming liar who wanted one thing. Don’t settle for this guy. You deserve better.

    • Ugh I know, right? And so now my excuse is that he’s just someone to have around (lol, probably his excuse for having me around). So since I won’t learn my lesson we’ll see how and where things go.

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