The Problem With Validation


Everyone strives to be validated. At work, at school, within friends, and at home, we want to have that stamp of approval. It not only makes us feel good, but accepted as well.

This is fine. To a certain extent, we should want to be validated by the people around us. We strive to do and be our best for the people that are in our lives. The place where this can become dangerous is in looking for a relationship.

When girls find that they are single for an extended period of time (though they would like a relationship) they start to question why. It can get frustrating and annoying and the question can definitely pull on you. If it happens long enough and you don’t settle the issue, you resolve to, “Well hell, I’ll just find a guy myself.”

This can lead to settling, and is often a direct result of wanting validation. A girl just wants to know that someone out there will give her a second look and be like, “Hey, I’ll take her.” Really? It’s sad and unfortunate, but true. The whole “I really don’t need a boyfriend” mentality goes right out of the window because the girl needs to feel validated by…well, any guy.

You see where the “danger” comes in? Anything can happen, and this is where unhappy relationships start, in varying degrees. The girl will end up with the wrong guy, and better yet, one that doesn’t deserve her (because let’s face it, a lot of times it’s the nice girls who fall into this predicament). But this happens to guys, too!

The bottom line is, the true source of validation has to come from yourself. This is the only way that you can have a truly happy, drama-free relationship. Make sure that you’re okay with you, and that you’re confident enough with yourself. When you do this, you may actually realize that you really don’t need that special someone in your life right now.

Once you validate yourself, you can life happy, by yourself, or with someone else. Confidence is key. Love yourself, and you can effectively love someone else.

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~ by musingsofaboredteenager on July 27, 2012.

2 Responses to “The Problem With Validation”

  1. Lovely Post and I agree wholeheartedly! A person should never seek out other people for validation. I was once prey to that predicament, and decided never to go back. I affirm myself, because that self-satisfaction ultimately leads to better relationships, even if there are less.

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