The Doormat Syndrome


A lot people who meet me say that I’m extremely outspoken.

I take that back.

My mother says that I’m extremely outspoken.

And probably other people who don’t know me too well and have met me under very certain circumstances. The thing is, usually the way people perceive me is usually what they’re going to get in the long run. Therefore, if you meet me and I’m loud and outgoing, I’m going to stay that way around you because I feel like I don’t want to throw you off by acting a different way the next time I see you.

And vice versa.

The thing is, about 40 percent of the time when I meet someone, I can be very quiet and keep to myself, especially if the person has a really strong personality. And if we become friends, a lot of the time I can become the doormat. This is simply because I try to keep up the way I am around the a person in an attempt to be consistent for the sake of him or her. This would in turn mean staying quiet and not voicing my opinion when I should.

Am I making sense?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being agreeable and compromising, but there’s a difference between doing that and being the doormat. And the problem is that I tend to do that, because I hate saying no to people. I want people to know that I’m reliable, and can get things done if they need me to.

The ultimate problem with this is that you end up getting “convenience friends,” or those that simply hang around because they know that they can get things out of you, whether it’s emotionally, physically, financially…the list seriously just goes on.

So you may ask, “Okay, then how do I know if I have a CF?”

Quite honestly, a lot of people already know if they are being used or not. They just refuse to believe it. However, if one “genuinely” would like to separate the sheep from the goats, then the answer is quite simple:

Just say “no.”

Pretty profound, yeah? The truth is, once the “User” realizes that the “Usee” isn’t giving them anything they want anymore, they tend to back away. Byebye, goats.

Am I saying that you need to be a b*tch and say no to people all the time? No. I’m telling you not to be a doormat. This is not okay. It drains you, and you’ll end up having absolutely nothing left if you keep at it too long.

Do we have any recovering doormats out there?

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~ by musingsofaboredteenager on August 22, 2012.

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